NOW PLAYING-Len-Steal My Sunshine- major embarrassment, dustbunnies, foodfights, yep, just another lunchtime for the Eds!
lunchtime finally rolled on, and with their food the Eds plonked themselves
in the corner of the cafeteria with their stereo and Eds
Slug-U-La magazine, along with his Roach-O-Rama 100 most disgusting insects poll mag.
"What a beautiful specimen!" admired Edd, eyeing up
a centrefold picture of a dung beetle. "Do you want this, Ed?"
"This remind Rolf of a fable from his old country!"
squawked Rolf, overhearing Edd from his wheelbarrow farmers
break-snack.
"The story of the Dung Beet and Hienrich the Bull."
"Yeah well, its been swell Rolfy-boy, but were indisposed." Snubbed Eddy.
"Life too short to sniff the octopus, Ed-boys?!? Okay, peel your ear and hush!"
Rolf jumped up on the table and mimicked a dung beetle with
his legs up in the air and Ed rolled up in a ball.
You can picture the rest.
"Once upon a time, there was a Dung Beet who shared the Hienrich cow pat with 2 other greasy Dung Beet, and one day he make greedy with the dung. He pile it up and tall in his pothole and"-
BUMPF! Rolf shoved Ed into the crack behind the radiator,
with only his head and a foot sticking out.
"Cotton gravy!!" he woofed, trying in vain to lick the
dust bunnies behind the pipes.
Edd irked in revolt. Rolf became peeved.
"ED Boys! My patience is thin as nana's toenail is thick! He build himself in, yes? he became very lonelysome!"
"Im sure theres a heartfelt moral within that gibberish somewhere." Muttered Edd to Eddy.
"I ain't sticking around to find out. Hold the elevator, Double D!"
croaked Eddy stumbling after Edd who was straining
to wrench Ed out of the crack behind the radiator. Rolf was
very Incensed at their rude disinterest in his countrys entertainment pastimes.
"Life has many lessons, Jack-Horner-In-The-Corner Ed Boys!
If your heads were not swollen like mama's ankles after
a goat-shearing festival dance you would learn them too!
" Rolf waved his hand away dismissively.Edd simpered with unease before scurrying off.
"Ack...kinder today!Drag them screaming out of the womb
Like Wilfred in a deli on Mothering Sunday and they think they know
everything! Not like it was in Rolf's childhood!
In Rolf's day we would count our morals on our backhair
...and for REALLY big rememberances we would use our toe hair also!"
"Whew! that was close!" huffed Eddy. "Lets get a soda from the machine, Im partial."
"Parched! The word youre looking for is parched, Eddy." Corrected Edd.
"Parched is a fish, Double D!"
"Good one, Burrhead!" cackled Eddy. Unimpressed, Edd shook his head and looked away, only to become a shivering wreck when he saw none other but Melissa walking towards them.
"Please dont embarrass me! Please dont embarrass me!" hissed Edd
to himself looking at Ed and Eddy kicking and maiming the drinks machine.
"The spirit is quick!" gasped Rolf to himself.
"Hey there, Double D!" cooed Melissa, holding a turkey sandwich. "How did your morning go?"
"Oh Um,,,Um,,,just fine, and yours?"
"yeah, but I wasnt expecting too much to happen, I had textiles, you see.
I was just finishing off a project I started off in my old school but never got around to finishing it, Yknow?"
"I see!" squeaked Edd, his eyes diverting to Ed and Eddy every now and then.
"Cmon butter ball, reach!" jeered Eddy as Ed had his head buried in the Drinks slot looking for the can that wasnt going to come out because of the absence of that all important quarter.
"oh, who? oh, them?" whimpered Edd, trying hard not to look in anyway associated to them. THWAK! The safety gage inside the machine clamped down on Eds head!
"New head for Ed! New Head for Ed!" howled the big bonehead as
he walloped and crashed his way through the cafeteria in
pain, the drinks machine mercilessly locked onto him.
"Give it the Burrhead bump, Ed!" tittered Eddy unsympathetically. Edd tried his hardest to look the other way. Melissa squealed;
"oh no, the poor trampy kids got his head stuck in the machine!"
Edd felt his insides plummet like a rock. He cringed feverishly as Melissa pulled on Eds arms and pushed on the drinks machine which made his head pop out like a cork.
"Buttered toast!" droned Ed, a bit dazed, but he'd live.
Melissa massaged his head and Ed purred like a kitten.
"Okay big fella, youll be,,,ew,,,fine" she said sweetly as she wiped the drool off her sleeve. Just then Kevin stormed over, with a very sore foot.
"Hey, blubberdork! Whats the deal with the machine! You just near crushed my foot, you goof! Now Im off the baseball team for sure! Theres no way they'll let me play!"
"This is not cool, Mister Ed!" scolded Nazz, who was supporting
Kevin with his arm around her shoulders. "Now what will the team do?"
Nazz slapped Kevin's hand away as it slipped downwards from her elbow accidentally-on-purpose.
"Don't go there,okay?" she hissed from the side of her mouth.
"Hey Nazz! Melissa smiled. " How's the suit coming along? it looks really good!"
"Doing fine so far, chick! Hey, thanks
for the tips on the stitching, I was totally lost!" Nazz beamed.
"Who's that?" Kevin mimed.
"A friend..." Nazz said bluntly. "What's it TO ya?"
Edd looked on in curiosity. So the rumors WERE true. Kevin and Nazz HAD split up!
"Over here, Daisy!" waved Melissa to a girl with a purple cap
and a really long brunette plait down her back. She strutted over, looking very boyish in her red trackpants and blue gymtop.
"Whats up?" she barked, a BigBubba cherrypop sticking out of her mouth.
"Double Dee, Nazz, this is my younger sister Daisy."
"Charmed, Im sure" irked Edd as she homiegrabbed him with her fist and near crushed his hand.
"Kevin, my sister was captain of the baseball team in our last school."
"What,,,Her?!?" snarled Kevin patronisingly "She's smaller than Dorky!"
Daisy shot him a fiery look, making him gulp.
"watch and learn, sickly one." Taunted Daisy. "Size don't matter all the time y'know..."
"Speak for yoursef.." Nazz snorted, makng eyes at Kevin scornfully. Melissa tittered as Daisy didn't get the joke
"Im gonna try out tomorrow afternoon."
"why tomorrow?" scoffed Kevin
"Community service tonight."
"Oh..." Peeped Kevin and Nazz, looking slightly disturbed.
"Where is dorky?" snorted Kevin, changing the subject.
"e-e-e-eeergh!!!" groaned Eddy as he pulled himself out of the drink slot with a Rooty-Fizz drink in his mouth.
"ooh-yeah, who’s the man with the plan?!?" he smirked.
"Well it ain’t you, munchdork! Say hello to my five-figured friend!"- roared Kevin as he hurled himself at the pint-sized artful dodger.
Instead, Eddy hopped nimbly out of the way, and Kevin found his face in Rolf’s stuffed Pig’s head.
"sorry, you lose!" cackled Eddy.
"Food fight!" the pig’s head-clad Kevin screeched before hurling a plate of squid platter at Eddy, which started an eruption of fingerfood throwing, hash brown hurling and soda squirting.
"Double Dee! help me! It’s horrible!" pleaded Eddy before Rolf beat him severely with a frankfurter screaming "poacher!"
Edd cringed as Eddy said his name. He turned to Melissa, who was shaking her head with a knowing-all-the-while smile on her face.
"I’m feeling fuzzy, Double D." borked Ed, his face turning a greeny-purple.
"C’mon Ed, let’s get you out of here." Appealed Edd over the calamity. He led Ed to the industrial bins outside the cafeteria to purge himself of the dust bunny demons. Melissa followed gingerly, Daisy strutting behind.
"3-for-the-price-of-one Ed boy! Rolf is not amused!" Rolf
barked as he strangled Eddy with his sausage string.
"What did I do...what did I do?!?" pleaded Eddy, mid-gasp.
"Please let Rolf be with more time!" Rolf looked with wide eyes towards the sun.
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