Chapter Three-Put The Ed Into Action

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Eddy raced his way up the gravel driveway of Pineapple Place,
Ed and Edd stumbling behind. His running caused a cloud of sharp
stones and sand, and it jabbed and stung Ed and Edds face as
they struggled to catch up. Edd became tired, and had to sit down
on a large stone standing up in the border, rubbing his sore legs.

"Eddy, do you have to run?!? This gravel is lethal on my
legs!" He complained, flinching as he flicked and plucked the
stray gravel out of his socks. He had his portable steel guitar on
his back and it weighed him down something awful.
"Just a couple more feet! Quit milking it, Brando!" snapped Eddy without a hint of sympathy.
Ed heaved poor Edd over his shoulder. "alleyoop!" he laughed as he hopped along,
kicking even more dirt and grit into Edds face.
"Curse the spring in Eds step." He whimpered.

Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Ding dong!Ding dong!
Melissa looked out of the window, saw Ed tormenting the
doorbell, Edd slumped over the porch fence like an old
towel, and Eddy looking through the letterbox. She waved to
him and he snapped up straight. She opened the door with a
cup of cocoa.
"Hi guys, I was wondering where you"-
Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Di-
"Enough already, Quasimodo!" barked Eddy, slapping the back
of Eds head with a thwack!
"Cookies and milk!" slurred Ed as he hobbled into the
hallway, bells ringing around his head.
"Are you hungry, Ed?" cooed Melissa, taking hold of his arm.
"Have you guys had anything to eat?"
Edd laughed nervously, sweating like a pig and trying
desperately to find something to look at so as not to make
eye contact. Eddy didnt want to give too much up to who he
saw as a Vegas airhead so he said: "Um,,, we havent had
chance, busy with homework and stuff, yknow" lied Eddy.
"Um,,, everythings so hectic with the um,,, um" Suddenly
Eddy spotted Melissas bulletin board by the porch, with a note saying:
"revise for big literature test this Friday. Compose a poem."
"The test!" piped Eddy triumphantly. "The big test this
Friday, man weve been slogging away studying for it, aint we Double"-
Edd stared out from underneath his hat with a horrified look in his eyes.
"Oh you poor things!" giggled Melissa. "You should have said! Make yourselves at home, Ill fix something up for you!"
"Youre all goodness, aint ya!" purred Eddy. She smiled shyly and headed for the kitchen. He pulled a patronising face and
turned back around to the Eds.
"Sucker! Anyhoo, lets go check this place out whats with you, Double D?"
Edd had turned as green as a weed with worry. "The test!" he gasped. "I forgot all about the test!"
"Relax, Mr Freak-out! Its 2 days away! Anyways, all youve gotta do is write a stupid poem, jeez."
"No Eddy, you dont understand!" exclaimed Edd, swinging off Eddys
collar with his feet dragging on the floor. "This has never happened before!
Ive never allowed it to! Ive always been very disciplined when
it came to revising, and now Ive become tardy!" he swooned with despair.
"Get a life, Double D! Revisions for squares!" said the D- average Eddy. "Cmon, lets see
what makes this big ol house tick!" he grinned.

"Dont be such a sadsack, Double D!" grimaced Ed, lolling behind Eddy to the
dining room. Edd looked at his watch.
"Oh dear,,, its 4pm already!
That means Ill hardly have any time to study when I get home!"
Panting, Edd scurried up to Eddy, who was playing catch with Ed with a
Royal Moulton figurine. Edd panicked and leapt in between them
in the air to catch it.
"Phew!" he breathed. Putting it back in its rightful place, and spending
about 30 seconds trying to get it perfectly aligned with the
other figurines. He then closed the cabinet gently and turned to
Eddy."When exactly are we leaving, Eddy?" he asked, pointing
at his watch.
"Wheres the fire, Double D?" protested Eddy. "I thought you LIKED Melissa!" he mocked,
fluttering his eyelashes.
"No, its not! I mean, I do, shes very nice but dont you think the test on Friday is a
tad more important than thi"-

(PIC BY RACH)

"Here you go, gang!" said Melissa
merrily, carrying 3 batches of Doodles Noodles and Oriental
mushroom soup. She placed it down in front of them and stood
back, twiddling her fingers, waiting for a response.
Suddenly the phone rang.
"Oh, let me go answer this." She rolled her eyes. She
trotted out of the dining room, leaving the three Eds to
tuck into their noodles. Ed hoisted them up in his
chopsticks and swallowed them in one big gulp. Licking his
lips, he scooped the little Chinese bowl up in his clumsy hands and guzzled the mushroom soup, throwing his head back like a pelican.
He slammed it down and wiped his lips on his sleeve.
"Fortune cookie always wrong!" he slurped.
Edd shuddered with revolt as he gingerly stabbed the noodles with his chopsticks and pushed them away.
"I think I could have respiratory failure here and now from the amount of MSG in this food." He mumbled, giving them to Ed.
"MSG means more for me!" Ed gobbled, sucking the last of the noodles up in a big string.
"Whats biting your bunions today, sockhead?" snapped Eddy with a mouthful of noodles and char sui dip.
"I still cant believe I forgot all about the test, Eddy! And how are we going to explain to
Melissa about the tapestry?" he whinged, his hand over his forehead for support.
"And me? have bunions? Please." Edd took the bowl of soup in his
hands, dabbed a bit on his little finger, tasted it and his face irked."Too much salt!"

"I cant take you anywhere, can I?!?" scolded Eddy, banging his fist on the table,
making the antique candlesticks wobble.
"I dunno... its always me, me, me, me, me with you, Double D!"
He reprimanded, snatching the bowl out of Edds hands. Edd folded
his arms crossly and looked out of the elaborate ivory glass
doors onto the carefully tended garden. He stood up and headed
for the grand windows that went down to the floor, and pushed
the conservatory doors open.
"My word!" he exclaimed. "Look at all the exotic birds!"
Edd gushed as he walked towards the huge aviary in the centre of the
Athena style rotunda conservatory. So many colours! So many
birds of all different breeds, sizes and shapes! He put his hands on the brass bars and smiled with wonder when a crowd
of little finches hopped towards him, peeping and blinking
inquisitively. He noticed that these little beige and grey birds
were pretty dull on their own, but when they got together, dancing
and chirping melodically as they did, they were so amazingly entertaining...